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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
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♪ Songs that made
The hit parade ♪
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♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
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♪ Those were the days ♪
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♪ And you knew
Where you were then ♪
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♪ Girls were girls
And men were men ♪
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♪ Mister, we could use a man
Like Herbert Hoover again ♪
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♪ Didn't need
No welfare state ♪
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♪ Everybody pulled
His weight ♪
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♪ Gee, our old LaSalle
Ran great ♪
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♪ Those were the days ♪
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How long has Lionel
known this girl?
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About two months.
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Only two months
and they're engaged already?
15
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That's right. I blame it
on daylight-saving time.
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Oh.
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Well, when I was young,
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if a girl was going with a boy
only two months,
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they were still strangers.
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Why, I knew Archie
a whole year
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before I even found out
he was ticklish.
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How did you--?
23
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How did you find out?
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It was an accident.
25
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We was on the beach,
26
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and I was smearing suntan oil
on Archie's back,
27
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and my hand slipped
and slid along his ribs.
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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You should have seen him!
30
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He jumped 3 feet!
31
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There's one other place
that Archie's ticklish,
32
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but I didn't find that out
till after we was married.
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The soles of his feet!
34
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Well, Edith,
35
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are gonna be home
in the next half-hour?
36
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Yeah. Why?
37
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Because Lionel said
he wanted to drop over
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and introduce
his fiancée.
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Oh! Good.
40
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Oh, by the way,
a week from Saturday,
41
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we are having
a big engagement party
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and you're invited.
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Wonderful.
44
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You and Mike and Gloria.
45
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And...
46
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No ands, Edith.
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What about Archie?
48
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Archie is not invited.
49
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Edith, let's face it.
50
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Archie and George
can't stand each other.
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Put them in the same room
together, the party's over.
52
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But, Louise--
53
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Even if we invited Archie,
he wouldn't come.
54
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Believe me, Edith,
we'll be making Archie happy
55
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by not inviting him.
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Well, that's very thoughtful
of you, Louise.
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Well, I'm glad
that's settled.
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Well, can I help you
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with any of the baking
or cooking?
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Oh, no. Not this time.
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It's going to be
a catered affair.
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We are hiring a room
at the Monarch Hotel.
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Oh, my!
So long, Edith.
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Ah-ha! Back, back, back,
the two of youse.
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Here's a surprise.
Get back there, get back there.
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You'll never guess who I just
met coming over here to see you.
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Lionel
and his fiancée.
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That is so dumb,
answering quick
69
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,904
without even
taking time to think!
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I'm sorry, Archie.
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What's the surprise?
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00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,145
Lionel and his fiancée.
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Is the surprise over yet?
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Yeah, yeah, get in here.
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EDITH: Hello, Lionel.
Hi, Mrs. Bunker.
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00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,318
I'd like you to meet
Jennie Willis.
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Oh, how do you do,
Jennie?
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00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:43,788
Hello, Mrs. Bunker.
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,890
Lionel's told me
so much about you.
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Nothing bad,
I hope.
81
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Oh, don't put her
on the spot, Edith.
82
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Ain't she pretty!
83
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,200
Yes. Lionel's a good picker.
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Just like his father!
85
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:03,107
Well, Jennie's
a good picker too.
86
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,242
Oh, thank you, Mrs. Bunker.
87
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,243
I wanna tell you, Lionel,
88
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it's a good thing,
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and I like it very much,
your getting engaged.
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I hope you're gonna follow
through and get married.
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00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,450
Oh, yeah.
92
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Right.
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00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:17,155
So, uh, when are youse two
gonna tie the knot,
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00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,422
you and your
impending husband?
95
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Well,
96
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,560
Lionel and I had
a long talk about that,
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and we decided to wait
until after Lionel graduates,
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because A, statistics show
99
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,799
that the greatest amount
of stress in a marriage
100
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:30,034
occurs during
that first year.
101
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,636
And that would be too much
of a burden to put on Lionel
102
00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:33,905
while he's still
at school.
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00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,175
B, if we wait,
I could quit school,
104
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:39,577
go to work so that we'll have
that nice little nest egg
105
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,946
to fall back on until
Lionel finds a position.
106
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,716
And C, after Lionel
establishes himself,
107
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:48,286
I can go back to school,
complete my education
108
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,788
and pick up
on my own career.
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00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:57,528
Ain't she something?
110
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:01,399
I guess you know
what you're doing, Lionel.
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00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,901
Lionel, it's
really getting late,
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and I've got
to be going, so...
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EDITH:
So soon?
114
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,605
Oh, yes. I've got
a million things to do.
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Would you believe
I still don't have a dress
116
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for our engagement party?
117
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,143
Bye-bye.
Bye.
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EDITH: Goodbye.
119
00:05:17,049 --> 00:05:18,883
I must say that
that's a very nice thing
120
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,184
you're doing there,
Mrs. J,
121
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,786
giving the kids
an engagement party.
122
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,388
Oh, it's not much.
123
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,589
We're just inviting
the immediate family
124
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and a few close friends.
125
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:29,394
Oh, swell. I'll be there.
126
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,962
Huh?
127
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:35,033
Yeah. I'll even bring
the kids a present.
128
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,700
Oh, no. You see--
129
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Oh, no, no trouble at all.
130
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Mrs. J, you must know
how I feel about Lionel.
131
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I mean, I like him very much.
132
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I practically watched the kid
grow up.
133
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:48,246
Archie, you've only known Lionel
four years.
134
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:51,249
But them were four very
important years, Edith.
135
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,417
Them were the four years
136
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,986
when the boy was coming
into his pubertyhood.
137
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But really, Archie,
you don't--
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No, no, no, no.
139
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I mean, it's gonna be
a real pleasure,
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because after all,
Lionel and me--
141
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:06,464
When Lionel first come
to this neighborhood,
142
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:09,367
you remember,
I took him under my wing.
143
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:13,271
Being colored, naturally
he was a little green.
144
00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:17,475
I taught him a few things,
145
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:18,642
we become friends.
146
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,311
No, I'm gonna make that party.
147
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,413
I'm gonna be there
with the bells on.
148
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I gotta get home.
149
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,350
George's dinner's
burning.
150
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,318
[BOTH MOUTHING]
151
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:38,329
Aren't you taking
something for granted
152
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,898
about
the engagement party?
153
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,367
What are you talking about?
154
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,435
Well, I heard you say
you was coming,
155
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,671
but I didn't hear Louise say
you was invited.
156
00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,607
Oh, use your head, Edith.
157
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,376
You heard what the woman said.
158
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:54,078
The immediate family
and a few close friends.
159
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:58,249
Who could be closer than us?
We live next door.
160
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,450
No way, Louise, you hear me?
161
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,119
No way!
George, calm down!
162
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,920
That honky ain't coming
to no party I'm giving,
163
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not for my son, you hear?
164
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Not while I'm alive!
165
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,226
Will you calm down,
George?
166
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,028
Now, you sneaked in
the rest of his family,
167
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,229
but that's it,
that's enough.
168
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,031
Now, I'm saying--
169
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,198
I'm saying enough.
170
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,467
E, double E,
triple E, 'nough!
171
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:20,838
George, if you don't
wanna calm down,
172
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,140
will you shut up!
173
00:07:23,675 --> 00:07:24,909
Who you telling
to shut up?
174
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:28,112
Do you see anybody else
in this room?
175
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,653
Now, you listen here,
woman.
176
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,355
Don't you give me
that "woman" jazz.
177
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,889
Don't you give me
that jazz, woman!
178
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,225
Now, you listen
to me, George.
179
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,495
I am not crazy about Archie
coming to our party either.
180
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,330
But now we've got to
invite him.
181
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,066
Edith is a very good
friend of mine,
182
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,401
and I'm not gonna do
anything to hurt her.
183
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,802
But you promised me, Louise,
you promised.
184
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,803
You said no Archie!
185
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,605
I know,
but I can't help it.
186
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,275
Archie thinks he's invited.
What can I do?
187
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,677
You can take your big mouth back
over there and uninvite him,
188
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,446
that's what you can do!
189
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,048
I can't do that!
190
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,716
Why? Because you're afraid
of hurting his feelings?
191
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,017
You just blame it
on me.
192
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,819
You just go over there
and you politely say,
193
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:09,954
"Mr. Bunker,
I'm very sorry,
194
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,655
"but I have to take back
my invitation
195
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,157
"because my husband,
George,
196
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,758
"says he doesn't
want you at the party.
197
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,826
"He's very sorry.
198
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,228
He hopes you understand,
you honky, you."
199
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,964
That's all.
200
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,067
Is that your final word?
201
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,969
That's it
and you heard it.
202
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,571
Okay, fix your own dinner.
203
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,306
Oh, now you're gonna
get dramatic, huh?
204
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,976
Who you supposed to be?
Doris Day?
205
00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:37,148
Do you see
any freckles here?
206
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:40,084
What about
my dinner?
207
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,419
Forget it!
208
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,621
I'm going over there
and tell Archie he's invited
209
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,189
courtesy of you.
210
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,259
Over my dead body.
That's one way.
211
00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:54,198
Hold it, Louise!
212
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,300
My mind is made up.
213
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,835
And don't you dare say no,
214
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,803
or you'll be eating
your dinner through a straw!
215
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,038
What?
216
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,275
Louise, if you don't
get back in here...
217
00:09:08,113 --> 00:09:09,213
Hey, Ma.
218
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:13,451
Oh, my. You came home
at just the right time.
219
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,885
You mean
dinner's ready?
220
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,254
No.
221
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,055
Archie's in the bathroom.
222
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,061
Why is that
just the right time?
223
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,697
Well, you see, Louise was here,
224
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:30,601
and she invited us
to Lionel's engagement party.
225
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,671
Is that what sent Archie
up to the bathroom?
226
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:34,672
No.
227
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,240
GLORIA:
Oh, I get it.
228
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,008
Daddy's throwing
a temper tantrum
229
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,810
because he doesn't
want to go, right?
230
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,313
Wrong, Gloria.
He's going.
231
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,881
Well, then what's
the problem?
232
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,816
He ain't invited.
233
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,719
Well, where did he
get the idea that he was?
234
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,988
Out of his own head.
235
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:54,992
That's the worst place he
could've gotten anything from.
236
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,829
Ma, you gotta tell him. How long
can you keep putting it off?
237
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,698
[TOILET FLUSHING]
238
00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:07,338
About 10
more seconds.
239
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,307
But I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
240
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,875
Well, don't worry, Ma.
I'll tell him.
241
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,277
No, Gloria,
let me handle it.
242
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,179
He's gonna
be so mad.
243
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,147
That's all right.
I'm used to it.
244
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:20,918
Hey, Arch. How are you doing?
How's everything? What's new?
245
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,953
New York, New Hampshire
and New Jersey.
246
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,956
[LAUGHING]
247
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,791
Funny, Arch.
248
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,228
Dinner's in a couple
of minutes, Archie.
249
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:35,466
Ah, Daddy, I hear you're going
to Lionel's engagement party.
250
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,468
Yeah, I gotta go.
I couldn't get out of it.
251
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,836
MICHAEL:
Yeah, uh...
252
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,004
Arch, uh, I have something
to tell you,
253
00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:42,873
and I don't think
you're gonna like it.
254
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:46,244
What's new? I don't like
nothing you tell me.
255
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,246
Arch, I'm serious.
256
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:52,883
You, uh-- You're not invited
to Lionel's party.
257
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:55,353
What?
258
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,887
[DOORBELL RINGING]
I'll get that.
259
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:59,423
I ain't invited? Did you hear
what that meathead just said?
260
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:00,858
Oh, hi, Louise.
Come on in.
261
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,192
Thank you.
262
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,729
Oh, boy, am I glad you're here,
there, Mrs. J--
263
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:06,130
Before you say anything,
Archie,
264
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,865
there's something
I've gotta tell you.
265
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,134
George insisted
that I come over here
266
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,036
and extend you
a formal invitation.
267
00:11:13,038 --> 00:11:14,872
George did that?
268
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,641
There, what do you
think of that?
269
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,942
Louise--
Edith!
270
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:22,413
George said he wasn't
gonna touch solid food
271
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,882
until I invited you.
272
00:11:30,455 --> 00:11:32,990
So I'll see you
at the party, Archie.
273
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,091
Oh, swell.
274
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:35,326
Hey, wait a minute, Mrs. J,
275
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,727
wait a minute,
just before you go.
276
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:42,866
Listen, the formal invitation to
me, that includes Edith, I hope.
277
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,535
Oh, of course.
278
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,803
Yeah, yeah, great.
279
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,672
And another thing,
Mike and Gloria,
280
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,740
they've been hinting
around about going too.
281
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,442
Oh, they can come.
282
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,243
Yeah. And would you
just kind of
283
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,179
extend the formal invitation
to them too?
284
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,814
Because they don't believe
nothing I tell them.
285
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,649
Go ahead, go ahead.
286
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,786
Hey, everybody, Mrs. J's got
something to say to you here.
287
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:06,890
Mike, Gloria, Edith,
you're all invited too. Bye.
288
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,059
ALL: Bye.
289
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,260
Oh, Mrs. J, look--
290
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,199
You got
a very good heart.
291
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,234
Yeah.
292
00:12:21,973 --> 00:12:26,377
Well, there you go.
What did I tell you, stupid?
293
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,879
And you, Edith,
don't you feel dopey now?
294
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:33,684
Oh, yeah. I guess
I got it all mixed up.
295
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,053
"Got it all mixed up." Mixed up.
296
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:39,523
I bet I miss a lot
of invitations this way.
297
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:51,335
[CONVERSATION and LAUGHTER]
298
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:54,204
Oh, excuse me,
will you, please?
299
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:59,610
Oh, I'm so glad to see you
enjoying yourselves.
300
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,311
Ted just told me
the funniest joke.
301
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:02,646
It's about these
two white dudes--
302
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:06,216
Shh! Not in front of
the help.
303
00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:15,493
Well, is everything okay,
Mother Jefferson?
304
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,795
As well as can be expected
305
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:22,199
considering nobody's paying
any attention to me.
306
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:26,003
My son George has hardly
said a word to me all night.
307
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,939
But George can't help it.
He's very busy with the guests.
308
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,409
Too busy to speak
to his own mother?
309
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,544
How do you like
the food?
310
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,313
Let's not start
an argument, Louise.
311
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,917
Now, listen, you know all you
had to do was come to me,
312
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,987
and I would've fixed
some real food for this party.
313
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,723
You spend enough time
in the kitchen.
314
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,458
We wanted you to be a guest.
315
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,192
Hmph. What difference
does it make?
316
00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:52,195
Nobody talks to me, anyway.
317
00:13:52,197 --> 00:13:54,665
Excuse me.
318
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,367
George. George!
319
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:58,636
George, what have
you been doing?
320
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,137
Enjoying myself. Why?
321
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:02,840
Well, why don't you
make yourself useful?
322
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,841
Like what?
323
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,377
Like getting your mother
off my back.
324
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:08,679
What's the matter
with Mama?
325
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,981
Oh, don't get me
started on that, George.
326
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,583
Now get over there
and talk to her.
327
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,686
Let me get me
a drink first.
328
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,321
Hey. How's it
going, Pop?
329
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,623
Hey, son.
How are you?
330
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,625
You take good care of this
pretty little lady now.
331
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,927
Yeah,
I'll do that.
332
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:25,863
I like your family, Lionel.
They all seem so nice.
333
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,865
Oh, they got you
fooled too, huh?
334
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,066
Listen, what happened
to your folks?
335
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:30,367
They'll be here soon.
336
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:35,105
Lionel, have you told your
father about my parents yet?
337
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:36,640
Oh, you mean about them
being werewolves?
338
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,175
Oh, be serious.
339
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,577
No, no,
there's some things
340
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,779
you don't tell my father
till it's too late.
341
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,413
But, Lionel,
I'm worried!
342
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,649
Listen, relax.
Everything's gonna be okay.
343
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,220
Here, here! Lionel, didn't I
teach you better than that?
344
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,255
Ain't I doing
it right?
345
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:58,228
Look, lighten up
on the girl.
346
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,031
Leave her enough lips
to say, "I do."
347
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:09,239
Hi, Mama.
Everything all right?
348
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:14,044
Oh, everything
is just lovely.
349
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:19,617
But Louise said you were
upset about something.
350
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,453
Wherever did she
get that idea?
351
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:27,457
Why, George,
it's a lovely party.
352
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:30,427
And don't you worry about
the food being skimpy.
353
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,531
I'm sure nobody
will notice that.
354
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:37,001
George, that's
your second drink?
355
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,536
Yes, this is
my second drink, Ma.
356
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,937
I'll finish
it for you.
357
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,939
Mama, you don't have
to finish the drink for me.
358
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,774
George, you know,
you're just like your daddy.
359
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,912
He couldn't drink. I had to do
all the drinking for him too.
360
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:55,019
Come on, Archie,
this is the party.
361
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,955
Oh, Edith, you don't have to be
nervous with the colored crowd.
362
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,190
Just keep
your eye on me.
363
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,725
MAN: Hey.
Hi.
364
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,294
If you're looking for the
Elks Club, it's down the hall.
365
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,631
Ah, no, no. I ain't
looking for that. No, ah, no.
366
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,934
Do I look like
an elk?
367
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,369
Oh, hello,
you two.
368
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:13,771
Hi there, Mrs. J.
Hello, Louise.
369
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,405
Oh, so nice of you
to come, Archie.
370
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,441
Yeah, I know.
371
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:21,779
Where is Mike and Gloria?
I don't see them.
372
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,181
Oh, they're over at our house
picking up some records.
373
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,583
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, yeah.
374
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:26,984
Now, can I introduce
you to everybody?
375
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,586
Well, to tell you
the truth, Mrs. J--
376
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,387
Or would you rather
have a drink first?
377
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,990
That's the guy I wanna meet,
the bartender. Yeah, yeah.
378
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,960
Oh, look.
Hello, Mr. Jefferson.
379
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:36,994
Oh, hi,
Mrs. Bunker.
380
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,796
Hey, Jefferson, there.
How are you?
381
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,030
Listen,
382
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,365
that formal invitation you sent
by your wife,
383
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:45,535
I think that was
very white of you.
384
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:55,746
That's exactly the way I felt
when I did it.
385
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,548
George, why don't you
take Archie over to the bar
386
00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,783
and offer him a drink?
387
00:17:01,252 --> 00:17:02,786
Hey, Jefferson.
388
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,222
I seen you hosing down
your porch yesterday.
389
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,391
Oh, yeah? When am I going to
see you hosing down yours?
390
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,628
Bartender.
391
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,662
Yes, sir?
392
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:12,863
Get the man
a drink, please.
393
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,464
What will it be, sir?
Uh, whiskey.
394
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:15,699
Any particular brand?
395
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,234
Yeah. The expensive brand.
396
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,136
Ha!
397
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,573
And what about
you, sir?
398
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:24,608
Scotch and soda,
please.
399
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,909
Yes, sir.
400
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:28,211
Hey, hey, Jefferson,
there's a switch for you,
401
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,648
this guy giving you
the big "Yes, sir."
402
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,516
Why? He's the bartender,
ain't he?
403
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,717
Yeah, but what
I meant was
404
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,186
I'm used to having it
the other way round.
405
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,454
Oh, yeah?
406
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,723
How many servants you got
in that mansion you living in?
407
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,959
What do you mean by that?
408
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,593
Let me tell you
something about people.
409
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,030
There you are.
Thank you.
410
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,231
That bartender's
willing to work for me,
411
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,300
because if you got
enough green in your pocket,
412
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:53,537
then black becomes
his favorite color.
413
00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:04,247
George,
that's your third drink.
414
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,315
I know that!
415
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,383
Well, put it down.
416
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,851
Mama, will you
leave me alone, please?
417
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,619
I said put it down.
You've had enough.
418
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,021
Look, Mama,
I'm a big boy now.
419
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,023
I don't need you
to blow my nose for me.
420
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,224
Now, will you
leave me alone?
421
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,592
George...
422
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,994
Hey, there, Jefferson.
423
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,195
That ain't very nice,
424
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,764
talking that way
to your little mammy here.
425
00:18:26,671 --> 00:18:29,639
Who you calling "mammy"?
426
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:30,741
You.
427
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,910
Well, don't you dare
call me "mammy."
428
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,846
I'm nobody's mammy.
I'm his mother.
429
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:38,015
Now, if you got
anything to say to me,
430
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,350
you call me
Mrs. Jefferson.
431
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:41,651
Jeez, Mrs. Jefferson--
432
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:42,720
Don't talk to me.
433
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:43,921
That's telling him, Ma.
434
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,956
And don't you try
to make up to me either.
435
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,524
Oh, Mother Jefferson,
what's wrong?
436
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:49,093
Oh, don't.
I'm getting out of here.
437
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,894
George, what's going on?
438
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,295
He called Mama "mammy."
439
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,164
Oh!
440
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,933
I didn't think
I was doing nothing wrong.
441
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,935
I thought all colored people
call their mothers Mammy.
442
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,436
Well, I did, Jefferson.
443
00:18:59,438 --> 00:19:00,670
That's what I always heard.
444
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:04,307
Jeez, Al Jolson called
his mother Mammy for years.
445
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:07,711
See that, Louise?
You see?
446
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,214
That's what you get
for inviting whites.
447
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,015
Hi. How are you?
448
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,083
Fine.
449
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,251
Oh, hey!
450
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:17,020
Uh, hey, if you're looking
for the Elks Club,
451
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,222
it's down the hall.
452
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,824
No, thanks.
I'm in the right place.
453
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,893
Oh, yeah? What are you,
the caterer?
454
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,027
No.
455
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,596
So, what are you
doing here, a white guy?
456
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,631
I'm a guest.
457
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,299
What are you doing here,
a white guy?
458
00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:32,302
I'm the family's
white friend.
459
00:19:34,572 --> 00:19:36,774
Jennie!
460
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,810
Oh, Mom! Hi!
You look beautiful!
461
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,079
Oh, so do you, baby.
So do you.
462
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,513
You see that little girl
over there?
463
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:45,115
That's the little girl
Lionel's going to marry.
464
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,084
I know. Know who
that lady is hugging her?
465
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,085
No.
466
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,319
She's my wife.
467
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,354
Oh, that--
Huh?
468
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,395
Daddy!
Hey, Jennie!
469
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,197
Hi.
Oh, hi, Mr. Willis.
470
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,298
Hi, Lionel.
471
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,766
Oh, I see you've
met Mr. Bunker.
472
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:03,867
Oh, yeah,
we've met.
473
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,269
Yeah, yeah.
474
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,870
Lionel, shouldn't we
introduce my parents to yours?
475
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,638
Oh, yeah,
yeah, sure.
476
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,407
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Lionel!
477
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:14,678
Hey! Do you mean to tell me that
your father ain't met that man?
478
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,546
Uh, no, I'm going to
introduce them right now.
479
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,816
This I got to see.
480
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,017
Mom, Pop.
481
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,418
Could you come over
here a second?
482
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,253
I got some people
I want you to meet.
483
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:25,588
Hey, Jefferson,
you're gonna love this.
484
00:20:27,658 --> 00:20:29,693
Okay, okay, Mom, Pop,
this is Jennie's parents,
485
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:30,627
Mr. and Mrs. Willis.
486
00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:34,932
Uh...
487
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,900
I'm very pleased
to meet you.
488
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:37,901
How do you do?
489
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,103
Mrs. Jefferson.
490
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,205
Mr. Jefferson.
491
00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:45,709
You're white!
492
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:49,012
And you're black.
493
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:52,115
It's a kick in the head,
ain't it?
494
00:20:58,323 --> 00:20:59,990
Lionel,
495
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,225
I want
to talk to you.
496
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:02,392
You know,
Jefferson,
497
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:03,994
all the chickens
coming home to the roost--
498
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,028
Please!
499
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,063
There's not one--
500
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:09,199
Would you just
excuse us, please?
501
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:10,734
Listen, you know
what I think?
502
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:13,203
Would you
excuse us, please?
503
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:16,639
What the hell?
I'll eat something.
504
00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:20,077
Jennie, you didn't
tell them, did you?
505
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,144
No.
506
00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:22,612
Why? Are you ashamed of us?
507
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:23,914
No, you know
better than that.
508
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:25,015
Then why?
509
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,383
Well, I wanted to.
510
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,551
But Lionel thought
it would be better to wait
511
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:30,220
because his father is--
512
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,654
He certainly is.
513
00:21:31,656 --> 00:21:33,957
George, I thought
you said you liked Jennie.
514
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,158
That's before I met him.
Wait.
515
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,793
You don't know him.
I don't want to.
516
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,929
I don't want no white
in-laws in my family.
517
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,563
They're going to be
my in-laws, not yours.
518
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:42,966
Think, son, think.
What about your children?
519
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,201
What they going to be?
520
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,669
Oh, boys and girls, I hope.
521
00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:50,740
Louis, we are
not wanted here.
522
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:52,709
Helen, don't fly
off the handle.
523
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:55,045
I want to leave
and right now.
524
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,179
But, Mom, you--
525
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,580
Jennie, you stay
out of this.
526
00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:59,049
This is between
your father and me.
527
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,351
Okay. Okay!
Have a good time.
528
00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:03,186
Can't you tell
when you've been insulted?
529
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,788
Now, just don't
get excited.
530
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:08,892
I am not getting excited.
I am getting mad.
531
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,193
Listen to them, Louise.
532
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:12,062
That's what happens
when you mix black and white.
533
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:15,098
Ten more seconds,
he's gonna call her, nigger.
534
00:22:18,502 --> 00:22:19,736
Listen to that.
535
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:23,540
I ain't used
that word in three years.
536
00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:30,547
Louis! I'm getting madder.
537
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,115
Listen to this dame
over here.
538
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,318
Another minute,
she's gonna call him a honky.
539
00:22:35,553 --> 00:22:36,820
Hello!
540
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:38,388
Hi. We brought
the records.
541
00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:39,489
Did we
miss anything?
542
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:41,959
Only the beginning
of World War III.
543
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,160
What?
544
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:44,227
I'll explain
later.
545
00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:45,462
Just play something
quick, and loud!
546
00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:46,663
Oh, okay.
547
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,198
Louis--
Just take it easy!
548
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,532
Or they'll think
we're really fighting.
549
00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,468
Who cares what they think?
550
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,003
Ah, come on, now, Helen.
551
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,772
We've run into his kind before,
black and white,
552
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,407
and we've always
been able to handle them.
553
00:22:57,409 --> 00:23:00,177
Sure, because we never
let them walk all over us.
554
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:01,878
We did something
about it.
555
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,680
You want me
to do something about it?
556
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:06,916
All right, I am going to
do something about it
557
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:08,352
right now!
558
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,020
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
559
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:11,154
Head near
the door, Edith.
560
00:23:11,156 --> 00:23:13,623
There's gonna be
a race riot.
561
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,195
Mrs. Jefferson.
562
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,130
Yes?
563
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,665
May I have this dance?
564
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,301
You certainly may.
565
00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:26,069
Louise!
566
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,837
I'm standing here!
567
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,707
Sorry, he asked me first.
568
00:23:37,148 --> 00:23:41,118
You see, Archie?
No trouble at all.
569
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,321
You see that,
what mixed marriage leads to?
570
00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:46,856
Mixed dancing!
571
00:23:46,858 --> 00:23:50,360
Mrs. Willis, you have
a lovely daughter.
572
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:51,395
Thank you.
573
00:23:51,397 --> 00:23:52,795
I don't believe
we've met.
574
00:23:52,797 --> 00:23:54,831
Oh. I'm Mrs. Bunker.
575
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:58,335
I ain't one of the relatives.
I'm just a good friend.
576
00:24:03,807 --> 00:24:07,244
Bunker, what is
this world coming to?
577
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,978
Beats me, Jefferson.
578
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:13,683
All I got to say is
here's to yesterday.
579
00:24:22,393 --> 00:24:24,627
Arch, you're wrong.
You're dead wrong.
580
00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,330
Forget it, Michael! There's
no sense arguing with Daddy.
581
00:24:27,332 --> 00:24:29,533
There ain't
no sense arguing.
582
00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:31,301
Because I'm right,
and I know I'm right.
583
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,603
All this business
of mixing the colors,
584
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:34,671
you go on with that,
585
00:24:34,673 --> 00:24:35,872
the first thing you know,
586
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,640
the whole world's
going to be one color.
587
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:39,876
Well, what's wrong
with that, Archie?
588
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,145
Can't you use your head?
589
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:44,314
How the hell are we gonna
tell each other apart?
590
00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:06,436
["REMEMBERING YOU" PLAYING]
591
00:25:06,438 --> 00:25:10,407
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recorded on tape before a live audience.
592
00:25:10,457 --> 00:25:15,007
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0